how

How could you come with me when you knew all along that you have to go?

*     *     *

I was having an okay life when our paths crossed. Things happened fast. But you made me care for you, made me love you. I gave up on carefree relationships and took ours seriously. You said you would end it up with her but until now (almost two months of not seeing her or communicating with her) you still don’t have the guts to do so.

I thought we were fine. But our latest argument on this made me realize that I’m still competing with her. That although you love me, it’s still not enough for you to completely give up what you had. You almost left me.

It hurts. These two words could sum up the pain but they’re not enough to describe it. I was still heartbroken even though you decided to stay with me because at the back of my mind I’m still wondering if I could ever really have your heart.

*     *     *

How could you break down my disguise and uncover my fears? How could you look into my eyes ignoring my tears?

*     *     *

Friends told me it’s not worth it. That I deserve better. But I’m quite stubborn. Why would I give up on something I’ve already committed myself into? And like what I’ve told you, I don’t want to regret if I didn’t even try to make this work. So even if reason told me to break it off, I still stuck around.

A few days have passed, and things seem to get better. I hope it would continue to do so.